Definitions have many meanings
By Sheila Donnelly/Austin Daily Herald

This past weekend, I cut and gathered gourds and Tom Thumb pumpkins from my garden. I have them spread out on straw so the sun will cure them. Each gourd and pumpkin I cut off the vines was prettier than the one before.

My son, Timmy, helped me gather them. I told him to be careful so the stems wouldn't break off the fruit so they will last longer. I have learned that I must give very specific instructions or I am not understood. This is true with almost any chore or explanation.

I have been misunderstood so often and I have misunderstood oral instructions that I try to be very specific when I explain things. For example, I have written down the directions to my house so that people can find it by the county road numbers. This I find has worked better for some people than telling them to turn left at the auto garage on Highway 30, and then left at the cemetery. Some people do better with landmarks so for these people, I specifically tell them the landmarks. My nieces and nephews that live in big cities are constantly confused when they come to visit, as all the dirt roads look the same to them. Now there are street signs and these help, but I never can remember the number of the streets when I give directions.

When we first moved to our farm, we told people to look for the highest tree in the skyline to get to our farm. A tall cottonwood tree is on our property that can be seen from five miles in three directions. It is one of the highest points in Steele County. This cottonwood is on a hill and my brother, Kevin, climbed it once while attached to ropes. He climbed to the top as the sun was setting in the west. When he got to the top he yelled down to us to tell him when we could no longer see the sun. He could still see the sun from his high perch and he counted out loud how much longer he could see the sun from the top of the tree. The sun set 10 seconds later up in the tree for Kevin compared to us down on the ground.

But back to being specific. I have learned that when I give instructions and explanations to never assume that the person you are speaking to will understand what you are telling them. For example, one time I asked my daughter, Molly, to get me a ladle for the soup I was serving. She looked confused, but she went and brought me a potato masher. I said, "No I want a ladle." She went back and brought me a sieve.

"What's wrong with you? Why are did you bring me a potato masher and a sieve? I want to dish up the soup. Go and get me a ladle," I said.

She brought me a metal spatula with tines. "Don't you know what a ladle is?" I asked in exasperation.

"No, I have never heard you say that word before," Molly answered.

I went and got the ladle and now when I say something that they don't understand, Molly and her sisters chant, "Ladle, ladle, ladle."

I understood their confusion as I had something similar happen to me when I was young. When I was around four years old, I would run into the downstairs bathroom in the evening when my father was shaving to use the toilet. He would always say to me, "Where is your modesty? Don't you have any modesty?"

I never understood what modesty was and one time after hearing him ask me where my modesty was, I took my clothes off right in front of him and asked him to show me where my modesty was. I thought modesty was a part of my body. My dad was embarrassed and laughed and told me to put my clothes back on, but he never explained to me where my modesty was.