Babies and weddings

My oldest son, Dan was married this past weekend, Saturday, May 22, at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Newry Township near Geneva, Minnesota. He married Mary O’Connor whose family belongs to the parish of St. Mary’s. Newry Township is my dad’s birthplace and final resting grounds. St. Mary’s Church is a small church that was built in the late 1800’s. It has beautiful stained glass windows that have the names of the families that donated them in memory of past loved ones engraved on each one. There are several windows that were donated by the O’Leary ancestors, which is my maiden name. It was a beautiful setting for the wedding. The reception and dance was held at the Austin Country Club. My 83-year-old mother, Mary Ellen O’Leary made it to the festivities. My sister, Mary drove her the eighty miles from Minneapolis and sat with mom in the church and at the reception. They didn’t stay long at the dance as the band, a rowdy Irish band named the Tim Malloy’s, were too loud for mom. Besides it had been a long day for her and she tires easily.

The day after the ceremony, we met at the bride’s parent’s house to open gifts. Afterwards around 15 members of my family gathered at my house. It was raining and cold outside so all fifteen of us were stuffed into my cramped house, with its small rooms, drinking coffee, soda and eating popcorn and crackers and cheese. My niece, Genevive was sitting with her baby, Tulsi and her fiancé, Lou. They had come to the ceremony from
Mendocino, California. Her cousins were talking how the next ceremony that they would all be going to was Genevive’s and Lou’s wedding. Mom was sitting amongst the grandchildren and said, “You kids are all messed up having these babies before you are married. The wedding I went to yesterday the bride and groom had a year old baby. It is against the law having babies before marriage.”

Twenty-year-old Casey, who is my sister, Mary’s son spoke up, “Grandma, not everyone is religious like you. You don’t have to be married to have a child.”

“Well it is against the law to have children when you are not married,” insisted Mom.

“No, Grandma, it is not against the law to have children when you aren’t married,” said Casey.

“Well it should be! It is against some law!” huffed Mom.

The grandchildren all started to laugh and Grandma became angry and said, “Bastards cannot get a job!”

Casey’s mother was not married when his mom, Mary had him and my mother has said derogatory comments to him and about him since the day he was born. Casey said, “Oh, so that ‘s why I can never keep a job.”

This comment was a joke, as Casey has two jobs. The cousins all roared and mom’s eyes snapped and she rose to her wobbly legs, balancing herself on her aluminum walker and said, “I want to go home right now!”

She made her way through her grandchildren and came into the room where I was sitting with my brothers and sisters. She seemed confused and tired and my sisters, Mary, Kate and Joann knew that it was time to take her home to Minneapolis. On the way to Minneapolis, mom had a tantrum because she was hungry and forgot that she didn’t live in Albert Lea anymore which is a half hour drive from my house. She demanded to know where my sisters were taking her as it was taking so long to get to Albert Lea. My sister, Kate said that mom became really nasty.

After they got her something to eat, mom calmed down and did something she never has done before; she apologized for her behavior of having a tantrum. Kate said, “That’s really good you said you were sorry, mom. We appreciate it very much.”

I was amazed when I heard that she had apologized because I have never ever heard her say that she was sorry for anything. Maybe babies and weddings do bring out the best in all of us.