Darkness and a ripped-up kitchen

I am having a hard time this year with the darkness that comes on us so quickly each evening. It never used to bother me so much, but this year I miss the sunlight.

One reason I am having such a hard time is my kitchen is still torn up and I don't have much light in it.

I really don't enjoy work in that dark, cave-like kitchen. We do have the area dug up that we are adding on to our kitchen. We were going to have cement poured, but now I am waiting to have block laid down.

This project has taken so long because Tom and I couldn't agree on what to do. I bought four books on building or adding on an addition and Tom didn't want to look at them.

I like challenges and learning how to do something new, but Tom doesn't. This really bothered me until one day an old friend was visiting me and he told me he couldn't build anything.

"It scares the hell out of me to try and build something and use tools," he said. "I have almost lost fingers a couple of times when I tried to do a project. You won't catch me building anything."

So now I am waiting for the block to be laid. Our yard is all torn up, and we are slowly pulling the barn apart. It looks pretty rough around here.

The other day I had music on loud and was in another room of the house. I can't see people drive up like I used to because the windows are gone from my kitchen. I did hear my two dogs barking and looked out a side window and saw a man and woman all dressed up standing in the yard.

There were other people waiting in a car and I knew then that they were missionaries. I don't like to talk to these people. I was glad my dogs were barking so loudly at the two of them. I watched them look around our crazy yard and then get in their car and drive away.

Tom will usually talk to these missionaries that drive around door to door preaching their message. I used to, but I won't anymore after one of them told me I was going to go to hell if I didn't follow her beliefs.

I said to her, "Well, I'd rather be in hell with more open-minded people then in heaven with closed-minded people like you."

She left rather quickly after I said that. Another time when I was away on a trip, Tom told me that a group of missionaries had stopped by. One of the women was very nice looking and had on very pretty dress. Tom said she was very nice, and he enjoyed visiting with her.

A couple weeks later, a car of these missionaries drove up and a very pretty woman got out of the car with another woman. I knew that this pretty woman was the one that Tom had been speaking about. I went out of the house and said that I didn't want to hear their message.

"Your husband talked to me before," the pretty woman said. "He was very nice."

"I'm sure that my husband was very nice to you," I said. "You look very nice all dressed up in a dress; he was just chatting you up."

Tom was driving through the yard on the tractor just then and smiled and gave her a big wave. She looked at me and then the two of them quickly got in the car and drove away.

I have not been as rude to these missionaries lately when they stop by, but I don't like them coming around. I don't want to hear their message, but I am more polite when I tell them I won't listen to them. I understand that getting their message out to people is something that they are required to do in their religion. I just feel that their approach is very narrow-minded.

I don't like the arrogance of being told that I am going to hell because I don't have the same beliefs as someone else.