Don't pressure people to donate

I don't know about you, but I am getting tired of all the charities that are soliciting for one cause or another.

This time of year it seems to be worse than ever. I know that most of these charities are legitimate and they are good causes, but there are so many I am getting confused.

My son, Timmy attends private school and right now I have cookbooks and calendars to sell. There is a box at the school to donate toys for children and a tree to take a paper bulb off to get items needed for each classroom.

A note was sent home to send food to fill boxes for gift boxes for those that are over the age of 75, and when we go Christmas shopping we are asked to buy prizes for an upcoming school carnival. This has been going on for years as my older children attended this school, but this year it seems as if I am getting more notes send home that are soliciting for another worthy cause.

I am trying to help out as much as I can with all these causes, but this year any extra cash I have has been going to help my children pay off their student loans. I can't ignore these bills, as I co-signed for them. I am not complaining, this is the way it is when you have children and these bills will get paid up within the next twenty years or so.

My sister Kate lived in England for over 20 years and she is amazed at all the charities and volunteer groups that there are here in America. She said in England, people seldom volunteer for anything and no one would think about giving their hard earned cash to a cause. I think the reason for this is that in England the government is more socialized.

When she first moved back to the States with her family five years ago, Kate was upset about how high medical costs are here. In England the government takes care of medical costs. Kate still doesn't like the high costs of medical care here in the United States, but she when she was ill two years ago, people in her neighborhood brought her food, another neighbor came once a week to clean her house, and people gave her vouchers for gas, tickets for outings and did many other nice deeds.

Kate said, "Only in America, would this have happened. I would have been on my own in England. No one would have helped us out like they do here. The United States is a younger country than England and I think that because of this people help each other so much."

"When people settled in this vast land, or moved out West, they were isolated and on their own," she added. "People had to help one another. This unselfishness to help one another is still in people today."

All the thousands of charities and seeing the need to help others is one thing that makes America unique. I just don't like it when someone from a cause chastises another person for not giving to his or her cause. This happened to me a couple years ago when I got a letter from my church that had an angry tone in it because our family was not giving to an elevator fund. I would have given if I could, but I was paying for my college tuition along with helping my children.

All these charities are fine and there is always a new and very worthy one popping up, but taking care of your own family should come first. There are some causes I am very wary about, especially for older people on fixed incomes that give money to televangelists. These "messengers of God" prey on people's conscious.

When my dad was alive he sent a large check to his church once a month. In the last five years of his life when he was an invalid and ill, Dad complained that this was not the way his life was supposed to turn out.

Dad said, "I gave all that money to the church, and now look what God has done to me. I can't think clear or get around anymore. This was not the way my life was supposed to be. I made all you kids go to church and raised you all right, why did God do this to me?"

I said, "Giving money to the church and making your children go to church doesn't guarantee that you will stay healthy or go to heaven."

My dad had it in his mind that giving money to his church would guarantee that he would live a long and healthy life and pay his way to heaven. He felt cheated by the hard work he had done to make a living.

But we cannot buy our way to heaven or to have immortality. If we choose to not give to a certain cause, this does not make us a bad people. We have to pick and choose what charity to help out and it is not anyone's business when we choose to say no.