Mom's obsession with baptism

My mother, Mary Ellen O'Leary turns 84 on Jan. 1.

She lives in Minneapolis in an assisted living facility. When she was born in 1921, on a farm near Twin Lakes, Minn., she was taken to the priest and baptized on the same day. She said that her parents got her baptized as a precaution in case she might die.

Mom says, "Because they took me out when it was so cold, and from what they told me it was around 20 below zero, I have suffered from having cold feet all my life."

She is proud of this fact and getting her own babies and grandchildren baptized quickly has been a huge priority for her.

My daughter Theresa's birthday is on Dec. 26. I didn't get her baptized until May.

Mom had a fit about this. Every week until Theresa was baptized, mom telephoned me and without even saying hello would snap, "When are you going to get that baby baptized?"

I would tell her that I would get her baptized when I was rested up enough, and when I could make dinner for guests in my own home.

"I will make the dinner for you," Mom insisted.

I was getting tired of being bossed around by her and said, "No, I will do it my way."

One weekend in March of that year, I did make arrangements to get Theresa baptized. On the scheduled Sunday, we awoke to a huge winter snowstorm.

Mom called my house at 6 a.m.

"I will be up to your house as soon as I get Dad to shovel the snow away from the garage," Mom said.

I said, "Mom, there's a terrible snowstorm outside. You live 23 miles from me! The roads haven't been plowed and the snow is still coming down heavily."

Mom said, "Well even if I can't get up to your place, you get that baby to church and get her baptized. If anything should happen to her, she will end up in Limbo, and you will regret this the rest of your life."

I heard a click as she hung up the phone.

"My mother is crazy. She leaves me with such comforting thoughts," I said to Tom.

Her reasoning that my baby might die and end in Limbo was more likely to happen if I did go driving out in the snowstorm, I thought.

These days Mom is failing with age, and she speaks about things that happened in the past as if they happened yesterday.

She was at my daughter Mary's place with my family for Christmas.

My daughter Bridget and I picked her up where she lives. Mom was waiting outside of her room with her blue wool coat on. She uses a walker to get around. It is a chore to get her in and out of the car, as she has had a stroke and her left side is stiff.

We ask her to plop down on her butt on the car seat and we gingerly lift her legs into the car.

Mary lives in an upstairs apartment, and my son Danny and husband Tom diligently helped mom up the stairs one step at a time.

Mom kept saying, "Oh, I am such a bother. You should have left me at home."

We ignored these comments. Mom was quieter this Christmas than years past. She can no longer afford to give out Christmas checks, but she asks the grandkids if they all received a check from her. My kids all unanimously say, "Yes, and thank you Grandma."

Mom smiled and said, "Oh good, I couldn't remember if I had sent them out, and I don't have my checkbook on me."

My brother Steve took her to visit my sister Joann after she ate dinner with us. Then he took her back to the assisted living facility at the end of the day.

I don't know how much longer she will be able to stay at this place as she is starting to fall and is failing in other ways. But we will all be celebrating her 84 years this New Year's Day. We will make sure it is a happy birthday for her.