It's worth it to mend your fence

It sure doesn't feel like spring. Last year was a cold spring, too. I like it when it is warm out and you can smell and see spring in the air.

A couple years back, when it was just starting to warm up, we kept our cattle in the barn near the house. We didn't put the cattle out on pasture until the grass had started to grow and become a decent length. That spring, our yard was torn up, as the cover from the cast iron septic tank had caved in and we began putting in a new septic tank along with a drainage hill when the ground thawed.

The old septic tank was covered with a piece of plywood and several rocks to keep it in place. On this particular day, the weather was warm, and the cows were restless, as they could smell the grass growing. I was home alone with my youngest son, Timmy, who was the baby. Tom was off digging a grave and the older children were in school.

One cow, in particular, wanted to get to greener pastures. I had watered the cattle well, fed them extra hay and had given them grain, but this cow kept leaning over the barbed wire fence all day. I kept watching her from my kitchen window as I worked and tended to my baby. I went out twice and walked across the muddy yard to holler at her to get away from the fence. I was hoping that Tom would return soon to reinforce the fence, as I didn't want to be chasing her around the yard.

As I was washing dishes, this cow leaned hard into the fence and she broke the top strand of barbed wire. She leaped over the lower barbed wires and ran into the yard. I ran out and chased after her and three heifers that were following. I didn't want them walking through the yard, because of the dug up septic tank. I went out and chased the three heifers back into the barnyard and got some grain and locked them into a pen in the barn.

The cow was feeling her oats and was bucking and running around the yard. I ran after her and she then went in the wrong direction across the yard and fell through the piece of plywood and into the septic tank.

This day had turned into a nightmare.

Right then, my kids drove home from school and I told them that they weren't going to believe what had happened. Then my mother drove in the yard right after them. She was all dressed in white with a pretty blue pin at her neck. She looked in dismay at how filthy I was. She got out of the car with a pan of homemade bars in her arms.

Mom said, "Well, how's your day going? It is such a beautiful day, I thought I would take a drive to see you. I have accomplished so much today. I washed my windows, cleaned out my china closet, scrubbed all the woodwork and baked this pan of bars."

"Well, a cow just fell into the septic tank," I said.

"That's not true," said Mom. "I'm leaving."

She thrust the pan of bars at me and went to get back in her car and then turned and said, "Let me see."

We walked around the house and there was the cow looking very mournful stuck down in the hole.

"Oh my God, it is true. Where's Tom? What are you going to do?" she demanded.

Right then we heard Tom's truck drive into the farmyard. We walked up to him. He was caked with mud and he said, "You will not believe the horrible day that I have had. The grave kept filling with water and the truck got stuck three times. I just want to relax."

I said, "A cow fell in the septic tank."

Tom looked at me incredulously and said, "That isn't even funny. Why do you tell me things like that when I worked so hard all day?"

"Because it is true," I answered.

My mother said, "I gotta go. There is way too much going on here."

She got in her car and sped away.

It took us a while, but we got the cow out of the hole by putting an iron chain around her neck and we pulled her out with the tractor. She was fine and she never tried to get out of the barnyard again. We put the new septic tank in that spring and the grass grows nice and green over the spot where the old tank used to be.

Neighbors have special quirks

My neighbor, John, hasn't fully entered the 21st Century.

He doesn't have a computer and heats his house with wood. He has a cistern on his farm that collects rainwater and melted snow that he uses for his household water. John seldom uses a telephone. He never calls before he drops by to visit. John will drive 50 miles to give a person a message that he could easily relay over the phone.

He does have a vehicle that he uses for transportation. I don't know what he is driving right now, as he goes through cars and pick-ups quickly. Each vehicle he owns, he purchased used and it always has something wrong with it. His farmyard is filled with cars and trucks of all different makes. John says that he is going to get one or two of them fixed one of these days. I have known John for 25 years and have been through many experiences with him.

One day in the early 1980s, John drove along with four of my children and me when I had to take Tom to the airport at the last minute to fly to Pueblo, Colo. Tom was going to his Grandpa's funeral. The kids were really young and I didn't want to drive home alone. We called John up and he said he would go along to help me out with the kids. When we got to the airport, we asked John to park the car and to meet us at the ticket counter. Tom and I had the kids with us while John parked the car. We waited 45 minutes for John to come back from parking the car. When he finally showed up, we walked up to the metal detectors to go to the departure gates. John stood with his arms crossed as we went through the metal detectors. I told him to follow us and he shook his head and walked away.

"Now what's wrong with him?" I asked.

Tom shrugged his shoulders and said, "Maybe he's afraid of walking through the x-ray machine."

I started to worry as we waited at the gate. Molly was the baby and she wasn't even a month old. Bridget was only 3-years-old and the two older kids were getting hungry. I didn't want to be stranded at the airport with four little kids. I told Tom good-bye and the kids and I left to go and find John. I paged him twice hoping that he was wandering around inside the terminal. Baby Molly was getting hungry and I was breast feeding her and I didn't want to do it in terminal. Finally John came in the door that he had dropped us off at. He was breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

"Where have you been? You left me with all these kids," I huffed angrily. "Go and get the car so we can get out of here."

John looked bewildered. My son Danny was 7-years-old at the time and I ordered him to go with John so he would hurry back. I waited another 20 minutes until John and Danny finally drove up with the car. We were driving away from the airport and were a mile away from the main gate when Danny said, "That's where John parked the car."

"You parked way back here?" I asked incredulously.

"I didn't want to pay for parking," John said. "I was picking up aluminum cans as I walked up to the airport the first time. I stuffed my pant's legs and coat pockets full of the cans. I was fixing fence when you asked me to go along with you. I have my fencing tools in my inside pockets along with strands of wire. I also have my big knife because I was using it to skin a rabbit. I didn't know that airports had those metal detectors. That's why I left when you went through them. I ran back to the car to empty my pockets."

That explained his bizarre behavior. I have always thought that it would have been some scene to watch John empty his pockets if he had gone through the metal detectors that day.

Beware when making salsa

I have been spending some of my spare time looking through garden seed catalogues.

A friend told me that yellow pear tomatoes are one of the hottest items to grow in your garden. I am going to be putting up a small green house to start my plants in this year.

My daughter, Bridget, works for a nursery in Mankato and owns some frames from an old greenhouse.

We went to see how big the frames were over the weekend and Tom is going to haul them home in his truck. Bridget and her boyfriend, Lucas, have had gardens the past two years. Last year they grew a field of pumpkins and squash and sold them at the farmer's market in Mankato.

Lucas had never gardened until he met Bridget. He decided he wanted to have a garden after he spent a Sunday helping me plant pole beans.

Last year, Lucas, Bridget, my son Timmy and I made salsa together. Lucas wanted to make it with me, as he had never done it before. He had a grown a large amount of jalapeno peppers that he wanted to contribute to the homemade salsa. I had the tomatoes, green peppers, garlic, cilantro, onions and the rest of the ingredients. Bridget and Lucas drove over from Mankato on a Friday night in early fall to make the salsa. We set to work chopping up onions, garlic, tomatoes, cilantro and the peppers in an assembly line fashion.

We had the music turned up loud in the kitchen as we worked and we were in a festive mood. I was chopping up the jalapeno peppers.

Lucas said, "Be careful with those jalapeno peppers. Do you have any plastic gloves?"

I didn't have any plastic gloves but I took care to not touch my face or my mouth as I chopped up the peppers. I washed my hands after I was done chopping so the oils from the seeds wouldn't linger on my skin.

We were having a fun time. We drank wine and ginger ale while we worked. I had made fried chicken, which we were going to eat after we had the salsa in the jars, and they were processing in the hot water bath. Timmy decided to try eating some jalapeno peppers that were cut up.

"Whew!" he said after he nibbled on a small piece. "Those are too hot. Don't put too many in the salsa. I need some water."

I said, "You need to eat some corn chips or bread to get the hot pepper taste out of your mouth."

Timmy ate some chips and downed several glasses of water. Lucas laughed at Timmy and teased, "Oh, can't you take the hot peppers?"

Timmy rolled his eyes at him.

Then Lucas picked up some jalapeno peppers that were chopped up and ate them.

"They are hot," he said as he grabbed a handful of chips

We were almost finished with making the salsa and I started to cleanup the kitchen. Timmy went to the bathroom. He called me in and said that when he urinated he had a stinging feeling. I started to worry that maybe he had a urinary infection and told him to take a hot bath and maybe he would feel better.

I mentioned to Lucas and Bridget about Timmy's problem and Lucas said, "Oh, I know what's wrong with him. He should have washed his hands after he touched the hot peppers. The oils from the peppers were still on his hands when he went to the bathroom."

"Oh," I said relieved that Timmy didn't have a major problem.

Timmy took a hot bath and when he came I asked him how he felt. He said, "A lot better. I don't sting anymore."

We told him that he should have washed his hands before he went to the bathroom because he had touched the hot peppers. He was embarrassed, but relieved. Then Lucas went to the bathroom and came out and sat down at the kitchen table. He jumped up suddenly and looked sheepish. He said that he had done the same thing as Timmy.

"Go take a shower," I said.

Bridget and I laughed so hard. The salsa turned out great. But from now on Timmy and Lucas wash their hands thoroughly after they touch jalapeno peppers.