Playing the Slots in Vegas

Sheila Donnelly This week I am in Las Vegas, Nevada with my sister Kate and our friend, Laura. We have been here since Sunday night. We are staying at the Excalibur which has the resemblance of a medieval castle, but really looks like we are staying at Disney Land. We are here because I have joined a side business called Prepaid Legal. Twenty thousand people from this organization have come together for a convention at the MGM Hotel here. I know most people have traveled to Las Vegas for one thing or another, but this is my very first time here. It is not some place I would ever choose to come to, but we are having a good time. All three of us women like to eat, but don’t like to spend eight dollars at a restaurant for eggs and potatoes. Because we are so frugal, we rented a refrigerator for our hotel room and than had to rent a car to go and purchase groceries. We are now eating very well and often. Sunday night, our first night here, we went to a party at an Italian restaurant. The food was great but we had to buy our own alcohol. I spent nine dollars on one glass of wine! I sipped at the nine dollar glass of wine very slowly. Before we went to the party, Laura, Kate and I got all gussied up. We wanted to look sparkly and ready to party. I wore a red beaded dress and had gotten some really cool thigh high black nylons with seams down the back. Kate and Laura said I looked really hot. When we left the hotel to walk to the car, I realized that my really cool, seamless thigh high black nylons were not staying in place and had slipped down to my knees. Kate and Laura started laughing at me in hysterics. When I got to the car, I tore the tops of the nylons to make strips and than, tied them on me. They did not fall down the rest of the night. Thank goodness! Now, I know Las Vegas is often called Lost Wages because of all the gambling. We three are not gamblers. But last night at another gathering, Kate and I were talking with two other women from Minnesota and one had made $450 and the other had made $250. Kate and I decided, "What are we waiting for?" So we hit the casinos last night, with $20 each. We were intimidated at first, but we asked one woman how to do the slot machine the Wheel of Fortune. I put in my dollar bill and lo and behold I won $25! I cashed it out right away and went to another machine and won another $20! Oh, I felt rich but I was afraid to play anymore. Kate decided to play a Wheel of Fortune game where the stacks were upped by nickels or depleted by nickels. She lost $5 on that game. I decided to try the same game, put in $10 and watched it get eaten up. We decided since we lost $15 we only had $3.50 left to spend for a game called Monte Carlo, Kate made $12.50. We were ahead and decided to quit for the night. Our total loss was $3.50. We are definitely not high roller gamblers. We are having a really good time on our trip and the people are very, very friendly. Everyone has been so accommodating and helpful. We did drive out to the desert yesterday and smelled the pines and fresh sage. Being in nature away from all the noise and people revived our spirits. I won't becoming home depleted of money from this trip nor will I have a full pocket book, but we are having a great time.

Please Ask Me the Definition First

By Sheila Donnelly



One of the most delightful things about raising children is their sweet innocence and curiosity to learn new concepts. Last winter my son, Timmy had spent a week with his three older sisters, Bridget, Molly and Theresa. The girls speak very openly around him and often after they have gone is when I find out what they have spoken so openly about. I was sitting in the living room reading and Timmy was sitting next to his dad, who was doing a crossword puzzle, while at the same time watching television.
Timmy turned to his dad and asked, “What it is the difference between orgasm and masturbation?”
His dad was listening to the television and was not paying attention to Timmy.Timmy cleared his throat and asked once more, “What is the difference between orgasm and masturbation?”
I pretended to be reading intently as I wanted his dad to answer this question.
Timmy cleared his throat loudly one more time and asked, “Dad, dad. What is the difference between masturbation and orgasm?”
This time his dad heard him and looked up startled but he answered Timmy truthfully and in simple terms.
Timmy said, “Thank you. I didn’t really know what they meant. I thought I did, but that makes more sense.”
I was glad that Timmy was comfortable to ask this question. If I had asked my parents such a question when I was his age, I would have been interrogated about where I had even heard such words, slapped and then sent to my room.
When my daughter Molly was 11 she was at her friend Tara’s house watching a movie. In the movie the word masturbation came up several times. Monday morning when she and Tara went to school they asked several of the boy’s at the small Catholic school they attended if they had ever masturbated.
Most of the boys answered, “Huh? Gee, I don’t know. I don’t think so…”
A couple days later, one of the boy’s mothers, Laura burst into my kitchen her hair all disarrayed and said she needed to have some words with me.
“I was at the school today helping teach sex education to the girls and I mentioned to the principal that the girls were very open and asked very intelligent questions. The principal said that yes, the girls were very inquisitive. Why just last week the principal overheard Molly Donnelly asking my son, Ralph if he masturbated. This is not acceptable behavior. I will not have Molly asking my Ralph if he masturbated.”
I heard giggling in the other room.
I sighed and said, “Well, let’s ask her if she did. Molly, come out here.”
Molly slowly came out to the kitchen with pigtails in her hair and her head down.
“Molly, did you ask Ralph if he masturbates?” I asked.
“Noooo…” Molly stammered.
Laura shook her finger at Molly and said, “Listen. Don’t you ever, ever, let me hear you asking my son if he masturbates again, do you hear me?”
Then she left quickly slamming the door.
We all burst into laughter, and I said, “Poor Ralph. Okay, Molly what’s the deal. Why did you ask Ralph if he masturbates?”
“I don’t know what it means, and he didn’t either. Tara and I asked all the boys if they did. No one understood what it meant,” Molly said.
“Well at that little conservative school please be careful what you ask the boys. Next time come and ask me first,” I said.
I went to the principal the next day and told her what had incurred and she was embarrassed that Laura had gotten in such a huff. The principal thought it was a normal question that a young person would ask, and it is. I suggested that the school have someone with more experience teach sex education as Laura was too naive to see that Molly’s inquisitiveness was normal. But, she continued to be the teacher and her Ralph is now a man and I am pretty sure that Laura sees now that it was not such a big deal the day Molly asked her son if he ever masturbated.