Bad luck comes in threes

I went camping over the Fourth of July weekend at Whitewater State Park with my sister Kate and her husband and their three teenagers. I almost didn't go because the day before, my ten-year-old son, Timmy had fallen off the neighbor's pony. He spent the day resting on the couch and that night he threw up three times. I took him to the doctor early the next morning and he had a cat scan and all was fine. The doctor said I could take him camping but that Timmy should take it easy. Three of my other children met up with us at Whitewater along with two boyfriends and one son-in-law. The first night that we arrived at the camp we grilled two chickens on a charcoal grill. I had butchered the chickens the day before. We snacked on cheeses and chips and dips while the chicken cooked. My daughter Mary mixed up cosmopolitans, a drink of vodka, cranberry juice, lime and other ingredients. We also had wine and beer and lemonade to sip on. The weekend was starting out to be very relaxing. It was late and very dark when the chicken was finally done cooking. It was delicious. After we ate we washed up the dishes and stashed the food in our cars because of raccoons. Kate and her family had a campsite near the road and my campsite with my children was across the road, tucked back out of the way. We were all tired, filled with good food and snug in our tents by 11:30 p.m. Early the next morning my oldest son Dan drove over to Whitewater from Albert Lea and woke us up as he was rearing to get going fishing. We slowly dragged ourselves out of our tents. Kate and her husband started to make coffee on their small gas stove. I asked Dan to help me get water for the camp. We placed a five-gallon water container along with a two-gallon water container in his car and drove to a water hydrant to fill them up. I had rolled his car window down on the short drive and when we got back to the campsite I went to roll the window up and I hit the button that locked the car doors. Then I hit the window button to shut the window. I was getting out of the car and Dan had already shut the car off and had gotten out of the car. I saw that he had left the keys in the car and I felt that something wasn't right. I got out and closed the car door slowly and left it somewhat ajar. Dan said, "Dammit, you just locked my keys in the car."

Right at the same moment Kate and her husband realized that two coolers were missing. They were the two coolers that had our drinks and alcohol in them. It was not a pleasant way to start the day.

"Oh no,"said Kate, "bad luck runs in threes. I hope nothing else will happen."

Dan was upset; Mary was upset, as she had just bought one of the coolers the day before. It was nice large cooler that rolled on wheels. Mary doesn't like to camp and the day before when Kate asked her how often she had gone camping Mary had replied, "I don't really like camping. The best part about camping is when I go home and take a hot shower and can go to sleep in my own bed."

Mary looked miserable and she drank a cup of coffee and then went to her tent to go back to sleep. Dan and his cousin got the car unlocked with an old antenna. Kate's husband went and reported at the camp office that our coolers had been stolen. He was informed that no one had reported anything stolen from any campsites in the last three years. We had to let the incident go so it wouldn't ruin our holiday. No one was hurt and or harmed.

We had been violated but it was just bad luck. The rest of the day it rained. I went to my tent and read a stack of New Yorker magazines. Kate and her husband napped and the cousins played cards and Trivial Pursuit in one of the tents. It wasn?t a rousing Fourth of July weekend, but a restful one. A kind we all needed.

The Fourth of July is my daughter, Bridget's birthday. We usually have cake the night before the fourth as she was born at 1:20 a.m. This year we had strawberry and chocolate pie for her birthday. We were all in bed by 10:30 p.m. Mary complained that her tent was too damp and her dog, Wrigley had gotten into her tent when she and her husband were eating supper and he had muddied up their bedding with his filthy paws. That was the third bad luck incident we decided. It rained all night long. Timmy lay next to me in the tent in the pitch dark. We could hear the rain coming down, but we were nice
and dry.

Timmy said, "I really like camping and being outdoors. It makes me feel
safe and warm."

It was nice and we did feel safe. We had locked all the coolers in our cars and while our guard wasn't down about having the coolers stolen from the night before we all felt safe with one another. It was a good weekend to be with each other.

An over night visit

I am going into my third week of not having to go to school. My life was so busy with school and work the past five months that I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Now, I don’t have a job and I don’t have to prepare schoolwork every day. I was sure I would have some semblance of order in my house by now, but I got sick last week with a sinus infection. Today I woke up at 5 a.m. to start getting some order in my life. So far I have made coffee, looked up a donut recipe and now I am writing. You can see where my
priorities lie.

Since I have felt that I have had more time on my hands, I am making an effort to see people that I have not had time to visit with, because of all the home work I had for school. Last week, I spent Thursday night with my brother, Steve, as this was the day that his divorce was final. At first Steve didn’t think he needed anyone to stay with him, but when I showed up he said that he felt awful and that a part of him was missing.

“I don’t know what it is like to have an abortion, but that is what I feel like I had today. I feel empty and hollow and I am very glad that you are here,” Steve said.

He made egg plant Parmesan for our dinner. He had also found five morel mushrooms the size of his fist earlier in the week in his backyard. He found them by the roots of the huge elm tree he had removed at the start of his divorce proceedings. I fried the mushrooms up in I butter and olive oil. They were a delicious accompaniment to the eggplant Parmesan. That night I slept in his five-year-old daughter, Siobhan’s bedroom. I was still sick with the sinus infection and spent the night tossing and turning and being miserable with my sinuses draining. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. feeling dizzy and off kilter. Steve was up and had fresh coffee made. He said that his now ex-wife was coming over at 7:30 a.m. to she take care of their two kids, Siobhan and three year old Bob at the house while he went to work. I left Steve’s house before his ex showed up and went to my daughter, Mary’s apartment that is a two miles away.

That evening, Steve called and said that I had left my underwear in Siobhan’s room and she had told her mother that a pair of women’s underwear was in her bedroom. Siobhan’s mom called Steve at work and angrily said, “I don’t want women’s underwear left in Siobhan’s bedroom,”

Steve thought it was funny as his ex-wife constantly was up in arms every time he spoke to another woman when they were married. It didn’t matter if the woman was married to someone else or even if the woman was related to Steve. His ex-wife was suspicious and accusing Steve that he was cheating on her and now that they were divorced she had evidence of hanky panky with my black, silky underwear. Steve said that all the guys at the nursing home where he works as a maintenance man thought the underwear story was really funny. I was embarrassed, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I have to be more careful when I stay somewhere and make sure I take everything when I pack up to leave. Steve said he would get the underwear back to me. He said he understood how it could have happened, as I was so miserable being sick. I am feeling better and will start cleaning this filthy house.

Babies and weddings

My oldest son, Dan was married this past weekend, Saturday, May 22, at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Newry Township near Geneva, Minnesota. He married Mary O’Connor whose family belongs to the parish of St. Mary’s. Newry Township is my dad’s birthplace and final resting grounds. St. Mary’s Church is a small church that was built in the late 1800’s. It has beautiful stained glass windows that have the names of the families that donated them in memory of past loved ones engraved on each one. There are several windows that were donated by the O’Leary ancestors, which is my maiden name. It was a beautiful setting for the wedding. The reception and dance was held at the Austin Country Club. My 83-year-old mother, Mary Ellen O’Leary made it to the festivities. My sister, Mary drove her the eighty miles from Minneapolis and sat with mom in the church and at the reception. They didn’t stay long at the dance as the band, a rowdy Irish band named the Tim Malloy’s, were too loud for mom. Besides it had been a long day for her and she tires easily.

The day after the ceremony, we met at the bride’s parent’s house to open gifts. Afterwards around 15 members of my family gathered at my house. It was raining and cold outside so all fifteen of us were stuffed into my cramped house, with its small rooms, drinking coffee, soda and eating popcorn and crackers and cheese. My niece, Genevive was sitting with her baby, Tulsi and her fiancé, Lou. They had come to the ceremony from
Mendocino, California. Her cousins were talking how the next ceremony that they would all be going to was Genevive’s and Lou’s wedding. Mom was sitting amongst the grandchildren and said, “You kids are all messed up having these babies before you are married. The wedding I went to yesterday the bride and groom had a year old baby. It is against the law having babies before marriage.”

Twenty-year-old Casey, who is my sister, Mary’s son spoke up, “Grandma, not everyone is religious like you. You don’t have to be married to have a child.”

“Well it is against the law to have children when you are not married,” insisted Mom.

“No, Grandma, it is not against the law to have children when you aren’t married,” said Casey.

“Well it should be! It is against some law!” huffed Mom.

The grandchildren all started to laugh and Grandma became angry and said, “Bastards cannot get a job!”

Casey’s mother was not married when his mom, Mary had him and my mother has said derogatory comments to him and about him since the day he was born. Casey said, “Oh, so that ‘s why I can never keep a job.”

This comment was a joke, as Casey has two jobs. The cousins all roared and mom’s eyes snapped and she rose to her wobbly legs, balancing herself on her aluminum walker and said, “I want to go home right now!”

She made her way through her grandchildren and came into the room where I was sitting with my brothers and sisters. She seemed confused and tired and my sisters, Mary, Kate and Joann knew that it was time to take her home to Minneapolis. On the way to Minneapolis, mom had a tantrum because she was hungry and forgot that she didn’t live in Albert Lea anymore which is a half hour drive from my house. She demanded to know where my sisters were taking her as it was taking so long to get to Albert Lea. My sister, Kate said that mom became really nasty.

After they got her something to eat, mom calmed down and did something she never has done before; she apologized for her behavior of having a tantrum. Kate said, “That’s really good you said you were sorry, mom. We appreciate it very much.”

I was amazed when I heard that she had apologized because I have never ever heard her say that she was sorry for anything. Maybe babies and weddings do bring out the best in all of us.

Rabbits can teach us a lesson

My daughter Molly's friend, Andrea, is moving out of her parent's house to go to school. Andrea had a rabbit for a pet in her bedroom since last September and didn't want to bring the rabbit to school, so Molly told her that I would take the rabbit. I was so busy Saturday getting ready for Easter that I wasn't listening to Molly when she said that we were getting a rabbit.

When Andrea drove up she unloaded the cage, the rabbit, and it's food and water bottle. She gave a long detailed list of instructions on how she took care of him.

Andrea said, "He's a great rabbit and is name is Lil Johnny. He is very gentle. I let him hop all over my bedroom and he always went back in his cage to leave his droppings."

When she left Molly said, "This is one spoiled rabbit."

Timmy fell in love with Lil Johnny right away. He is a very gentle rabbit, but he doesn't go back in his cage at my house to leave his droppings.

Right now he is staying in the room where we have the piano. So far, he isn't much trouble.

The last rabbit Timmy had lived with the chickens in their coop. Last fall, when Timmy had a friend to visit, the friend wanted to carry the rabbit around the yard. The rabbit hadn't been handled very often and it jumped out of Timmy's friend's arms and our two dogs took after it and killed it.

From that experience, Timmy is going to be more careful with Lil Johnny. This rabbit is used to dogs. My daughter, Bridget spent the weekend and she brought her dog, Maddie, along. The rabbit and dog played together and Easter morning , they were lying next to each other by the rabbit's cage.

I had two rabbits when I was growing up. My first rabbit died when my sister fed it bananas and jelly. That's why I thought it died, and I cried and cried. I think it really died because it was a wild rabbit and it shouldn't have been taken away from its mother. The second rabbit I had lived with the chickens and came to a terrible end when the family dog killed it. After that I though it was too much trouble having rabbit for a pet.

My husband Tom and I did raise rabbits for a while when we first moved out to this farm. Our neighbors raised them and said that they were good eating. We were breeding them and having babies. One of the doe's died when her kits were two weeks old. There were six kits and I brought them in the house and bottle-fed them around the clock for a couple weeks until they could eat food. They all lived.

Now the one thing about raising rabbits for food is that you have to kill them. Tom and I didn't have the heart to kill the rabbits. Our neighbor killed one for us and I cooked it up like he instructed, but we all thought it looked like a cooked cat when I set it on the table for dinner. We ate cheese sandwiches instead. After that, I gave up raising rabbits for meat.

Right now, I don't mind having Lil Johnny for a pet and Timmy is enjoying taking care of him.

Questions now surround student

Last week when it was reported that a young girl was missing from the University of Madison, Wisconsin, this story hit close to home for me.

My daughter, Theresa, is in her first year of college there. Every time a news item ran about the young girl Audrey Seiler, my husband, Tom would holler at me to come and watch the news. I finally told him, "I can't watch it. Don't ask me to come and see this story on television, that girl could have been Theresa."

I thought 'Are any young girls safe?' Two young women from Minnesota abducted this year, Dru Sjodin and now Audrey Seiler. I felt deeply for her parents and the trauma that they were going through. I imagined Audrey's body turning up, or never turning up, as so far has happened to Dru Sjodin. I talked to a grandmother whose grandson is going to school at Madison and she was crying over Audrey being missing. Many people were carrying around the pain of and angst of a terrible tragedy happening to another young girl.

Theresa called me one night from school to tell me that she was safe and that many of her classmates were out searching for Audrey.

Theresa said, "I know Audrey. This is so weird. She was attacked a month ago too. I don't understand any of this. My boyfriend, Steve, has asked me to be very careful. He's afraid. I walk home from a dance class on Tuesday nights by myself. I am scared too."

After the days of being troubled and praying for Audrey, she was found alive and safe. I was happy, relieved and then puzzled as the story unfolded. It was all a hoax. Audrey Seiler had planned her own abduction.

My feelings now changed after feeling sorry for a young girl who had gone to such an extreme degree to get attention. I feel empathy for her parents.

I wonder now how this young girl is going to be able to go anywhere without people being angry with her.

My oldest daughter Mary said, "I feel really bad for this girl. Going to college is really hard. I had a hard time. It is lonely and you don't know who you are. It was really hard for me."

I had forgotten how hard it was for Mary, as she is so happy now and successful in her work. Mary went to St. Ben's in Collegeville, Minn. She was ill often and very lonely. She would call home every week crying and say that she wanted to quit school. Her second year was even harder than her first year. I had to encourage her over and over to get through it and she did. I had to drive up to see Mary at college more often than I had to with my other children.

I talked to Theresa this past weekend about Audrey and the feelings of her classmates at Madison.

"It's just so weird, what Audrey did. The whole thing -- checking out parks and the weather, buying a knife and duct tape. I remember when I first met Audrey, she was angry and she did want a lot of attention. But I don't get this, none of us do. Why would she do this? Didn't she think about what would happen when it was all over?" asked Theresa.

As strange as what Audrey did, I understand it. I had a friend run away when I was in high school. She didn't run far, but she caused a lot of worry for her parents and she got a lot of attention. Audrey is immature, and she is getting help now. She screamed for help in a very extreme manner. I only hope that if something bad happens to another person and he or she is missing, that this does not deter the authorities because a young girl cried wolf.

It's worth it to mend your fence

It sure doesn't feel like spring. Last year was a cold spring, too. I like it when it is warm out and you can smell and see spring in the air.

A couple years back, when it was just starting to warm up, we kept our cattle in the barn near the house. We didn't put the cattle out on pasture until the grass had started to grow and become a decent length. That spring, our yard was torn up, as the cover from the cast iron septic tank had caved in and we began putting in a new septic tank along with a drainage hill when the ground thawed.

The old septic tank was covered with a piece of plywood and several rocks to keep it in place. On this particular day, the weather was warm, and the cows were restless, as they could smell the grass growing. I was home alone with my youngest son, Timmy, who was the baby. Tom was off digging a grave and the older children were in school.

One cow, in particular, wanted to get to greener pastures. I had watered the cattle well, fed them extra hay and had given them grain, but this cow kept leaning over the barbed wire fence all day. I kept watching her from my kitchen window as I worked and tended to my baby. I went out twice and walked across the muddy yard to holler at her to get away from the fence. I was hoping that Tom would return soon to reinforce the fence, as I didn't want to be chasing her around the yard.

As I was washing dishes, this cow leaned hard into the fence and she broke the top strand of barbed wire. She leaped over the lower barbed wires and ran into the yard. I ran out and chased after her and three heifers that were following. I didn't want them walking through the yard, because of the dug up septic tank. I went out and chased the three heifers back into the barnyard and got some grain and locked them into a pen in the barn.

The cow was feeling her oats and was bucking and running around the yard. I ran after her and she then went in the wrong direction across the yard and fell through the piece of plywood and into the septic tank.

This day had turned into a nightmare.

Right then, my kids drove home from school and I told them that they weren't going to believe what had happened. Then my mother drove in the yard right after them. She was all dressed in white with a pretty blue pin at her neck. She looked in dismay at how filthy I was. She got out of the car with a pan of homemade bars in her arms.

Mom said, "Well, how's your day going? It is such a beautiful day, I thought I would take a drive to see you. I have accomplished so much today. I washed my windows, cleaned out my china closet, scrubbed all the woodwork and baked this pan of bars."

"Well, a cow just fell into the septic tank," I said.

"That's not true," said Mom. "I'm leaving."

She thrust the pan of bars at me and went to get back in her car and then turned and said, "Let me see."

We walked around the house and there was the cow looking very mournful stuck down in the hole.

"Oh my God, it is true. Where's Tom? What are you going to do?" she demanded.

Right then we heard Tom's truck drive into the farmyard. We walked up to him. He was caked with mud and he said, "You will not believe the horrible day that I have had. The grave kept filling with water and the truck got stuck three times. I just want to relax."

I said, "A cow fell in the septic tank."

Tom looked at me incredulously and said, "That isn't even funny. Why do you tell me things like that when I worked so hard all day?"

"Because it is true," I answered.

My mother said, "I gotta go. There is way too much going on here."

She got in her car and sped away.

It took us a while, but we got the cow out of the hole by putting an iron chain around her neck and we pulled her out with the tractor. She was fine and she never tried to get out of the barnyard again. We put the new septic tank in that spring and the grass grows nice and green over the spot where the old tank used to be.

Neighbors have special quirks

My neighbor, John, hasn't fully entered the 21st Century.

He doesn't have a computer and heats his house with wood. He has a cistern on his farm that collects rainwater and melted snow that he uses for his household water. John seldom uses a telephone. He never calls before he drops by to visit. John will drive 50 miles to give a person a message that he could easily relay over the phone.

He does have a vehicle that he uses for transportation. I don't know what he is driving right now, as he goes through cars and pick-ups quickly. Each vehicle he owns, he purchased used and it always has something wrong with it. His farmyard is filled with cars and trucks of all different makes. John says that he is going to get one or two of them fixed one of these days. I have known John for 25 years and have been through many experiences with him.

One day in the early 1980s, John drove along with four of my children and me when I had to take Tom to the airport at the last minute to fly to Pueblo, Colo. Tom was going to his Grandpa's funeral. The kids were really young and I didn't want to drive home alone. We called John up and he said he would go along to help me out with the kids. When we got to the airport, we asked John to park the car and to meet us at the ticket counter. Tom and I had the kids with us while John parked the car. We waited 45 minutes for John to come back from parking the car. When he finally showed up, we walked up to the metal detectors to go to the departure gates. John stood with his arms crossed as we went through the metal detectors. I told him to follow us and he shook his head and walked away.

"Now what's wrong with him?" I asked.

Tom shrugged his shoulders and said, "Maybe he's afraid of walking through the x-ray machine."

I started to worry as we waited at the gate. Molly was the baby and she wasn't even a month old. Bridget was only 3-years-old and the two older kids were getting hungry. I didn't want to be stranded at the airport with four little kids. I told Tom good-bye and the kids and I left to go and find John. I paged him twice hoping that he was wandering around inside the terminal. Baby Molly was getting hungry and I was breast feeding her and I didn't want to do it in terminal. Finally John came in the door that he had dropped us off at. He was breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

"Where have you been? You left me with all these kids," I huffed angrily. "Go and get the car so we can get out of here."

John looked bewildered. My son Danny was 7-years-old at the time and I ordered him to go with John so he would hurry back. I waited another 20 minutes until John and Danny finally drove up with the car. We were driving away from the airport and were a mile away from the main gate when Danny said, "That's where John parked the car."

"You parked way back here?" I asked incredulously.

"I didn't want to pay for parking," John said. "I was picking up aluminum cans as I walked up to the airport the first time. I stuffed my pant's legs and coat pockets full of the cans. I was fixing fence when you asked me to go along with you. I have my fencing tools in my inside pockets along with strands of wire. I also have my big knife because I was using it to skin a rabbit. I didn't know that airports had those metal detectors. That's why I left when you went through them. I ran back to the car to empty my pockets."

That explained his bizarre behavior. I have always thought that it would have been some scene to watch John empty his pockets if he had gone through the metal detectors that day.

Beware when making salsa

I have been spending some of my spare time looking through garden seed catalogues.

A friend told me that yellow pear tomatoes are one of the hottest items to grow in your garden. I am going to be putting up a small green house to start my plants in this year.

My daughter, Bridget, works for a nursery in Mankato and owns some frames from an old greenhouse.

We went to see how big the frames were over the weekend and Tom is going to haul them home in his truck. Bridget and her boyfriend, Lucas, have had gardens the past two years. Last year they grew a field of pumpkins and squash and sold them at the farmer's market in Mankato.

Lucas had never gardened until he met Bridget. He decided he wanted to have a garden after he spent a Sunday helping me plant pole beans.

Last year, Lucas, Bridget, my son Timmy and I made salsa together. Lucas wanted to make it with me, as he had never done it before. He had a grown a large amount of jalapeno peppers that he wanted to contribute to the homemade salsa. I had the tomatoes, green peppers, garlic, cilantro, onions and the rest of the ingredients. Bridget and Lucas drove over from Mankato on a Friday night in early fall to make the salsa. We set to work chopping up onions, garlic, tomatoes, cilantro and the peppers in an assembly line fashion.

We had the music turned up loud in the kitchen as we worked and we were in a festive mood. I was chopping up the jalapeno peppers.

Lucas said, "Be careful with those jalapeno peppers. Do you have any plastic gloves?"

I didn't have any plastic gloves but I took care to not touch my face or my mouth as I chopped up the peppers. I washed my hands after I was done chopping so the oils from the seeds wouldn't linger on my skin.

We were having a fun time. We drank wine and ginger ale while we worked. I had made fried chicken, which we were going to eat after we had the salsa in the jars, and they were processing in the hot water bath. Timmy decided to try eating some jalapeno peppers that were cut up.

"Whew!" he said after he nibbled on a small piece. "Those are too hot. Don't put too many in the salsa. I need some water."

I said, "You need to eat some corn chips or bread to get the hot pepper taste out of your mouth."

Timmy ate some chips and downed several glasses of water. Lucas laughed at Timmy and teased, "Oh, can't you take the hot peppers?"

Timmy rolled his eyes at him.

Then Lucas picked up some jalapeno peppers that were chopped up and ate them.

"They are hot," he said as he grabbed a handful of chips

We were almost finished with making the salsa and I started to cleanup the kitchen. Timmy went to the bathroom. He called me in and said that when he urinated he had a stinging feeling. I started to worry that maybe he had a urinary infection and told him to take a hot bath and maybe he would feel better.

I mentioned to Lucas and Bridget about Timmy's problem and Lucas said, "Oh, I know what's wrong with him. He should have washed his hands after he touched the hot peppers. The oils from the peppers were still on his hands when he went to the bathroom."

"Oh," I said relieved that Timmy didn't have a major problem.

Timmy took a hot bath and when he came I asked him how he felt. He said, "A lot better. I don't sting anymore."

We told him that he should have washed his hands before he went to the bathroom because he had touched the hot peppers. He was embarrassed, but relieved. Then Lucas went to the bathroom and came out and sat down at the kitchen table. He jumped up suddenly and looked sheepish. He said that he had done the same thing as Timmy.

"Go take a shower," I said.

Bridget and I laughed so hard. The salsa turned out great. But from now on Timmy and Lucas wash their hands thoroughly after they touch jalapeno peppers.